Job Posting

Looking for a new job? Trying to get away from that daily grind? We have the job for you.

Do you have the skill to take our company's multi-billion dollar surplus and turn it into a $400 billion or more deficit? Would you like to have the power to hire whoever you want, even though every person that works for you hates the person and knows they shouldn't have the job? Well, we give you the power to just sneak him into the job on the weekend! Is one of your best abilities to turn every other company against you, and more importantly, against every person in your company? Not enough vacation? Hey, it's hot in August, there's nothing going on. Just take the whole month off! We want you to set the record for most days off in the history of our company! There's nothing that can't wait a month! Back in 2001 the person in this position took the month off and all he did was allow the worst attack our company has ever seen happen. Sound good? If so, then you should think about becoming President of the United States!